Best Cocktails on Earth

Salad Fingers 11: Glass Brother

Salad Fingers 11: Glass Brother


Well, hello, Mr. Fingers. There you are! I’ve got a collection of little buggers who’ve been waiting to see you. I thought I told you to get a haircut…
Marjory Stewart-Baxter. When you disobey me… this is what it comes to– I suppose you find this… amusing do you?
Hubert Cumberdale? You’re the best behaved, Jeremy Fisher.
You’ll be first in the bathtub tonight. Oh, don’t give me those tears now! You’ll never be a real boy, Hubert Cumberdale. I think you’re about ready to grow up a little. Don’t you? Wow. Who’s that little dazzling dreamboat? What’s your number? Sugar cheeks… Thunder thighs. Ladies and gentlemen! A new and improved Hubert Cumberdale! (the real boy) I just want to dance on the rooftops for all to see I’m fresh and ready for life I’m a big boy now They grow up so fast Don’t they? And he’s already running about and
playing with all the other little girls and boys I’ve surely been blessed
by the soft hand of our great provider You’re just a glass brother you wouldn’t understand You’re a stupid boy Ye-Yes mother. I am a stupid boy – I’m sorry mother
– Fetch me a bowl of porridge! Yes glass mother Stop it! Hey, He won’t let me pass it – He keeps on–
– What a weak little squirt you are Keeps on — stop it! He’s doing it! Look, it won’t… Come on WEAKLYBONES Pass mother the porridge I think you want her to STARVE I’d rather starve than sit here and
watch this pathetic display You’ll forever just be a lonely reflection It’s not fair I’ve been in here for too long I want to come home now Those cacky spider fingers aren’t going anywhere Andrew hands. Oh, what’s a horrible thing to say Don’t worry, New improved Hubert Cumberdale. (the real boy) I know of another entrance Why is glass brother so mean? Mr. Fingers? He was raised under the Beast’s sun Morning Wetlegs! Thought you’d slip in the back door did you? I must ask that you step aside I absolutely, shan’t Puddle meddling is punishable by a stern rasping Rasp! Rasp, rasp! Rasp Stop- Stop rasping 1. Handful of audax powder 2. Brown pebbles 3. a half cup of spider milk 4. speckled huckleberry leaf but- but- but glass mother You know the speckled Huckleberry leaf
makes my tummy bucks all bilious. – I don’t want another fever
– You’ll eat what I told you to Don’t make me come through that mirror and poke out your eyes Now get it down you Don’t worry, Mr. Fingrés! I’ll clean it up You’re a good lad Who are you talking to? Why, Hubert Cumberdale of course Hello there little boy He’s my real life flesh boy the most beautiful boy in the world Hubert! No! He’ll make a good broom-lad, stick him in the coal shed Hello! What brings you here? I don’t think you ought to have stolen my little flesh-boy. You ungrateful little swine! That’ll be 8 months in the slag-house for you, you rotten little pigeon-prick. You dirty little minge splinter!


Reader Comments

  1. Huge thanks to the Patreon supporters who funded this: https://www.patreon.com/davidfirth
    I think you'd all look lovely in a Salad Fingers tshirt: https://saladfingers.shop

  2. Check it out now, the Glass soul brother…
    Right about now, the Glass soul brother…
    'bout, 'bout, 'bout, 'bout, 'bout, 'bout, 'bout
    'bout, 'bout, 'bout, 'bout, 'bout, 'bout, 'bout
    'bout, 'bout, 'bout, 'bout, 'bout, 'bout, 'bout….

  3. Your videos are so disturbing but at the same time amazingly good, congratulations.👍👍👍👍👍👍👏👏👏👏👏

  4. If I was there I would punch glass brother in the face and say “you look shattered, you pathetic excuse for a brother”

  5. I'm I the only one that wants to rub Hubert cumberdale all over my body.. I must be flesh to flesh with the real boy

  6. Maybe it’s the u settling sounds or the squishy flesh but this makes me really excited for a part 12 just so I can watch film theory decipher this one

  7. mini-theory:

    The father is considered a disappointment too.
    Glass Brother calls Salad Fingers "Andrew Hands", so maybe Andrew is the father, and they don't speak of him. Remember, Salad was really offended when Glass Brother said this.

  8. i have laughed at things that made me think "oh man, i am going to Hell for laughing at this", and i have laughed at things that made me think "oh man, i am a really sick/bad person for laughing at this", and i have laughed at things that made me think "oh man, this is one of those 'guilty pleasure' type laughs that i wouldn't even want my friends to know about", and i have laughed at things that made me think "oh man, i must be mentally insane for laughing at this", and i have laughed at things that made me think "oh man, this is disturbing why am i even laughing at this?, and i have laughed at things that made me think "oh man, i have one helluva dark sense of humor", and i have laughed at things that made me think "oh man, LOL LOL LOL" ….

    but only David Firth makes me laugh at think "oh man, this is really disturbing why am i even laughing at this i am a bad sick mentally insane person headed for Hell and i don't even want my friends to know how dark my sense of humor is LOL LOL LOL…" all at the same time .

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